Holidays are coming

Unless you don’t know me very well, you’ll know how passionate I am about Christmas. Anything to do with Christmas. Everything to do with Christmas. It’s my favourite time of year. I can quote my way through Love Actually (which, by the way, is enjoyed all year round at Casa Chriscoli and not just for the final thirty days of the calendar). Nothing gives me greater pleasure than when the shops start to fill with suggested Christmas presents and coffee shops bring out their special cups.

For the summer people reading this, you’ll already be rolling your eyes as you blow warm air into your hands to prevent them seizing up. No offence, but I don’t care! People say that winter is romanticised. It is. By me. I love cosy nights in front of the fire, the endlessly dark nights featuring twinkly lights and of course, the fact that it’s socially acceptable (and even expected) to gain at least half a stone in a two week window.

We’re currently on 13^th November and I’ve already bought 90% of the presents I need to buy. Roll your eyes all you want, summer people, but when you have as many children in your life as I do, you have to stretch your bank balance – and not your patience! I’ve had Michael Buble’s Christmas album playing in my car on the way to work and my diary is chock-a-block full of festive plans. I can’t stress this enough: I love this time of year.

Like most people, it only truly feels like Christmas once you start seeing the festive adverts on TV. In recent years, it’s become a battle of the ads as everyone from Aldi to M&S do their best to impress. I don’t think anyone can deny that the most anticipated Christmas advert of all is from John Lewis.

This year’s features a (really cute) little boy who discovers he has a monster under his bed. Life with Moz the Monster is causing him sleepless nights.

While he is initially apprehensive of this giant under-the-bed lodger, he slowly begins to warm to him and we watch an undoubtedly heart-warming friendship spark between them. The little boy eventually finds a hastily wrapped Christmas present under the tree, which we know that Moz the Monster has left there for him. It turns out to be a night light, which, when he uses it, he realises the monster has gone. The advert ends with “For gifts that brighten their world” as the little boy enjoys his first good night’s sleep in donkey’s years.

Now, this may be an unpopular opinion but I’m going to say it anyway. I was disappointed. And since writing this blog entry, I’ve become aware that John Lewis are now facing an accusation of plagiarism from a children’s writer, Chris Riddell, over his incredibly similar picture book: Mr Underbed.

I don’t think it helped that the night before the advert launched, there were rumours that it had been leaked. Ever the Christmas nerd, I eagerly watched what I believed to be the legitimate John Lewis Christmas 2017 advert. It wasn’t. But I did fall in love with the story of a fox and a mouse, and their unlikely friendship as they survived in the snow against all odds.

There was one bit where I actually cried as both animals went underwater and the fox swam away, watching the mouse fall to his death, before plunging further underwater to retrieve him and ultimately save his life. He then protected the mouse against predators. By the end of the advert, I was emotional and thought “bloody Nora, they pulled that back”. (If you’re intrigued, click HERE to watch it).

Because the bottom line is: John Lewis’s Christmas adverts have deteriorated massively in recent years. Think back to Christmas 2010 where all the parents tried desperately to hide Christmas presents while their children played on, blissfully unaware, as Ellie Goulding crooned “Your Song” in the background. Or Christmas 2014’s effort where we met the adorable Monty the Penguin.

2015’s John Lewis advert undoubtedly divided opinion as we saw a little girl communicating with the man on the moon. I get the idea behind it, and I thought they were brave for attempting it. But I didn’t like it. Call me crazy. Call me a conspiracy theorist. But I thought it was strange – and dare I say, creepy? - to advertise a little girl keeping secrets with a stranger.

However, it was a much better attempt than last year’s advert, which was an outright disaster. Look, I love animals probably more than most people. Buster the Boxer had all the right ingredients for an excellent Christmas advert – cute children and (even cuter) animals – as we watched foxes play on the trampoline, which was then overshadowed by Buster pushing his owner out of the way to play on it. In theory, it was cute. But I just didn’t buy into it.

Was it because the advert was lame or was it because, out of nowhere, the other retailers were fighting back? Whereas normally John Lewis is the giant of Christmas adverts, we’ve seen Sainsbury’s, Asda and even Lidl giving us a run for their money. And even more surprising is that the other retailers are doing a better job than John Lewis.

I heard an interesting fact that the media whizzes behind the Sainsbury’s adverts refuse to post theirs anywhere until Remembrance Sunday is out of the way, which I immediately fell in love with. I read online that Aldi want to make people laugh with their adverts, which certainly worked with Kevin the Carrot.

This year, when Moz the Monster was unveiled, I watched the outpour of disappointment on social media. People were unimpressed. No, it was more than that. People were pissed off. For years, we’ve had it drilled into us that it isn’t Christmas without the John Lewis advert. Well, what’s changed? Do they have new management? A lower budget? Less people contributing ideas? (I’m aware that John Lewis use their longstanding agency Adam&Eve. Has someone at Adam&Eve headquarters stopped believing in the big man?) Whatever it is, I reckon they’ve got another year left before people switch off altogether.

Remember how the X Factor used to be the epitome of winter entertainment? You’d get a text off a mate inviting you on a night out and you’d literally laugh out loud as you switched your phone off (okay, onto do not disturb) as it was inconceivable to you that you’d venture outside when the X Factor was on. I actually remember being in a bar the night Joe McElderry was crowned the X Factor winner in 2009 and instead of music playing, they had the sound turned right up across six tiny TV screens dotted around the bar. We all sat in total silence as we drank our orange VKs and tried not to jangle our neon pink plastic beaded necklaces, completely glued to the screens as we watched poor Olly Murs coming in second place.

Can you imagine that now? Exactly. Times change. People move on. And if John Lewis don’t realise that and subsequently up their game, they’re going to turn to shit. With this in mind, I’ve made a list of the top ten British Christmas adverts of all time. Feel free to criticise or offer your thoughts.

10. For those fossils among us, you might be able to remember the Yellow Pages advert from the 90s. For the youth reading this, I’ll explain. The Yellow Pages acted as the original form of the internet, where you could find the contact details for local businesses and families’ landlines alike. It was a massive hefty book which the 1992 Christmas advert showed a little boy standing on to reach a little girl holding out mistletoe. The nation fell in love with the cute pair as they shared a Christmas kiss. Can you imagine that happening today? Oh the outcry! The advert was so popular that they played it year after year. I know this because I remember watching it and I certainly don’t remember any TV I watched when I was two. See it yourself: HERE

9. John Lewis’s 2009 entry hits my ninth top spot, mostly because I love the song (Sweet Child o’ Mine) and the fact they used all real footage of children playing. It actually just drew a little lump in my throat as I watched it then. Watch it yourself: HERE

8. A fabulously overlooked advert for 2017 is Debenham’s entry. A modern day fairy tale starting with a hectic journey on public transport during rush hour and ending with a (slightly predictable but still totally cute) love story. Plus, it features Ewan McGregor. What’s not to love? See it: HERE

7. John Lewis’s 2012 entry makes it into the top 10 with the gorgeous tale of the snowmen love story. I particularly like this advert as I love Gabrielle Aplin’s cover of “The Power of Love”, which is one of my all-time favourite songs. See it: HERE

6. An unlikely choice perhaps, but it just tugged on my heartstrings as I described it to my mum (and gasped over long ago it was). Boots Christmas advert in 2013 featured a young chavvy looking teenage boy who went storming out of the house, much to his family’s annoyance, to buy Christmas presents for his teacher, his crush, his best mate, his mum and the nurse who looked after his nan. See it: HERE

5.  An overlooked entry without a doubt, the Co-op’s 2015 Christmas advert was the heart-warming tale of a thuggish looking double act trying desperately to source the right items for their house party. When the elderly chap next door can’t leave the house due to the ice, one of the lads nips to the shop and picks up the necessary bits and bobs for him, before leaving them in a bag on the doorstep. See it: HERE

4. I’ve mentioned it already but John Lewis’s 2014 advert featuring Monty the Penguin definitely has to make it in the top five. I mean, come on, it shows the unbreakable bond between boy and real life penguin, before boy introduces said penguin to new penguin. Oh, and it features the lovely silky voice of Tom Odell. See it: HERE

3.  It could be argued that it isn’t really Christmas unless you’ve seen the Coca Cola advert with the van. Even just the beginning few rumbles of festive music and the hushed tones of “Holidays are coming” is enough to excite the Christmas fiends among us. I remember watching Blind Date after church one Saturday evening (good Catholic family) and me and my sisters screamed: “IT’S ON! IT’S ON! THE COKE ADVERT’S ON!” To which my mum ran in shouting: “IT’S CHRIIIISTMAS!” We’re a daft bunch. Have a look at the original Coke advert: HERE

2. This was almost my number one and it only missed the top spot because of its length. It was undoubtedly a very long advert (although it was usually a shortened version which was played),. However, it was also one of the very best as it recreated the truce between the English and German troops on Christmas Day in World War One. Yep, that’s right. I’m talking about the 2014 Sainsbury’s advert. As I mentioned above, Sainsbury’s appear to be very respectful of the armed forces and our veterans, so it was lovely to see this tribute. You can see it: HERE

1.      1. And my personal favourite is none other than John Lewis’s advert from Christmas 2011, where a little boy is desperately counting down the days to festivities. When Christmas Day arrives, we see him struggling to carry a huge present – only to give it to his mum. I genuinely remember watching that for the first time in the adverts of the X Factor, and right up until the end, I thought God, what a greedy little shit. Then burst into tears at the sight of his love for his mum. I’m welling up now. I think it’s the combination of The Smiths acoustic cover and the bond between mum and son. God help me. I’ve got a lump in my throat. You can see my chart topper: HERE

If reading this has put you in the festive mood, then I’m thrilled. If you’re not really a festive person for one reason or another, then don’t forget that ultimately, Christmas is just one day out of 365. If you find Christmas an unhappy or lonely time, please speak to those around you. As much as I adore Christmas, I’ve also had some really unhappy years where I’ve just wanted to get through the festivities as quickly as I can without too much hurt. If this is you this year or your plans have somehow fallen through, send me a message and we’ll go out for a drink. Look after yourself x