Reasons to be cheerful.

As you probably know, my last two blog entries have been a bit low. I was – what me and my friend Kate like to say – being a Debbie Downer. I decided that 2015 was going to be a happy year for me and I stand by that. So far, it’s been great. Although we are only one month in.

I was lying in the bath one evening and I got my thinking cap on. (This is very often the case when I’m in the bath. It’s the perfect thinking spot. I write in my bed, think in the bath and get inspired on public transport. Yes, I lead a very sad life.) I got to thinking about positivity and what makes us feel happy and bright. As I’ve already pointed out - and I promise I won't bang on about it for much longer - The Perfect Ten is all about a person’s happiness. If you’re a one, you’re desperately unhappy. If you’re a ten, you’re blissfully happy. A normal, healthy person will be anywhere from seven to ten. But for some people, that’s damn near impossible.

For some people, getting out of bed in a morning is a momentous task. Don’t get me wrong, we all hate getting out of bed at least two or three days during the week – the weather might be cold, your bed is nice and toasty and it’s still dark outside, meaning you hit the snooze button more times than is strictly necessary. But I'm not talking about winter laziness. I'm talking about unhappiness. There are all sorts of reasons why people might not be happy – health problems, grief, depression, money worries, crippling anxiety, weight issues, low self esteem, no confidence. The list is endless. 

Undoubtedly, you’ll already know that I’ve battled with unhappiness myself very recently. I'm not for a moment saying I've struggled to get out of bed or struggled to get through the day. Thankfully, I've not. I've got a great momma who wouldn't let me spend the entire day clad only in My Little Pony pyjamas whilst cocooned in my duvet, as much as that might sound appealing on this cold and frosty Friday morning. She's very hands on and positive and hosts a kind of, "Okay, world, bring it on!" attitude which thankfully, I seem to have inherited. As they say, the devil makes work for idle hands. If I keep myself busy, I'm pretty much guaranteed to have a good day. If I don't have any plans other than to mooch about the house, watching TV and eating my own weight in Toblerone - as much that is one of my favourite pastimes - I do tend to end up feeling rather maudlin.

There has been a couple of times where I've started to question what I've done wrong in a past life to deserve the wheelbarrow of shit that has been foisted upon me lately. But then, after a while, I'll shake my head, pull myself together and stop being a Debbie Downer. Let's be honest. It isn't about doing something wrong in a past life. It isn't even about doing something wrong in this life. For a long time, I thought karma dictated our lives. The general consensus is if you do something horrible to another person, eventually, something horrible will happen to you.

If you think about it, I bet you can probably name a person who you think is a horrible little rat but for some unknown reason, they keep coming up smelling of roses. I know I can. And I'm not just talking about someone you don't particularly like. I'm talking about someone who has gone out of their way to hurt you. Well, don't worry. Their time will come. And, unlike you, it won't be that they have a bad year in their early twenties. It will be in years to come, when everyone else has got their lives together. If someone has done something truly terrible on purpose, it will catch up with them. No doubt about that.

But don't focus all of your energy on someone else's happiness or unhappiness. If you spend too much time wondering about other people - who, if you're really being honest with yourself, you don't actually know very well, if at all - you will be bypassing your own happiness. Your own life. Stop checking her Facebook to see what she's up to. Stop stalking his brother's girlfriend's sister's best friend's Instagram. Concentrate on you. Smile.

So, it's not that I'm saying karma doesn't exist. It does. But life doesn't depend on it. If you're unhappy, it isn't because you did something terrible six years ago last Wednesday. Equally, if wonderful things keep happening to you, it isn't the universe trying to make up for you being picked last for netball in Year Seven and it isn't the universe saying sorry for you failing your driving test nine times. It doesn't work that way.

The bottom line is - do good and good will come to you. But if it doesn't, that doesn't necessarily mean you're a bad person. You're not Adolf Hitler reincarnated. It just means you need to keep smiling. Unless you can actually think of one or more specific things you have done on purpose which are spiteful, nasty, hurtful or wrong, then you aren't a bad person. And if you're stuck in a bit of a rut of bad luck, it's just life throwing you lemons. Take those lemons. Make tequila. Have a party. It will get better.

I remembered reading something online a few years ago and it was about reasons for why small but annoying things might happen to a person on a day to day basis. I searched for it online a few weeks ago when I thought about writing this blog entry. I won't bore you to tears by posting the entire thing, but I'll post a few lines here:

Me (frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?

GOD: What do you mean?

Me: Well I woke up late.

GOD: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start.

GOD: Well let me see….. the angel of death was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.  I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you if you were on the road.

That's literally just a snippet but I recommend you read the whole thing. Again, my feelings towards religion are a bit fuzzy at the moment and I'm not actively religious anyway but this comforted me. So - back to when I was lying in the bath - I made a mental list of all the times I’ve felt happy over small, seemingly insignificant things. After five or ten minutes, feeling surprisingly chipper, I decided to write them down so when I am having a bad day, hopefully, I’ll be able to smile.

Mostly, they are the wonderings of a twenty something year old girl but I like to think they apply to most people. If you're feeling sad or down or even just a little bit grumpy, switch the kettle on (or uncork the wine!), sit back and relax, kid.

1. Finding money in an old forgotten bag.
2. Waking up naturally, before your alarm goes off and spending ten minutes having a little doze.
3. The sun shining on a day you really need it to shine – graduation day, barbecue, birthday, wedding. Yes, you don’t have to battle with an umbrella!
4. Receiving positive feedback about work you’ve done. Especially if it’s something you put your blood, sweat and tears into.
5. Christmas with children. Perfect.
6. Seeing someone you haven’t seen for a long time and laughing and joking with them as if no time has passed.
7. Getting into a toasty warm car when you’ve been stood in the pouring down rain.
8. Being called beautiful.
9. Sitting down after you’ve been stood in a queue for a long time.
10. Someone complimenting your hair when you least expect it. Sometimes it’s nice to know you don’t look as crap as you may feel!
11. Waking up in a panic, thinking you're late for work... then the realisation hits you that it's your day off.
12. Trying on an old pair of jeans which still fit you perfectly.
13. Turning your pillow to the cold side during the night.
14. Taking your clothes off after a day of sitting outside and realising you have caught the sun.
15. Being hugged really tightly. From behind. When you least expect it. From someone you love. Not a stranger. That would be odd.
16. Fantasising about a certain meal all day, then getting home, making it and it tasting ten times better than you imagined.
17. Freshly shaved legs when you’re in bed.
18. Seeing someone you care about really happy. There is no nicer feeling than sitting at the wedding of someone you love dearly, smiling whilst a little tipsy and thinking, Ahh, I’m so glad I’m here to witness this.
19. Watching old home videos.
20. When you feel the first sips of alcohol hit your stomach and you get that strange warm feeling.
21. Changing the channel on the TV and finding one of your favourite films, just as it’s starting.
22. Bare feet on the beach. Or the grass. Or anywhere, really.
23. That first sip of coffee in the morning.
24. Guessing the time, looking at a clock and realising you had it spot on.
25. Air conditioning in your hotel room on holiday.
26. Taking an item to the till in a shop and being told it’s half price.
27. Eskimo kisses.
28. Being a bridesmaid, a best man or a godparent. 
29. When you're not feeling your best and your pet tries to cheer you up.
30. Putting clothes on straight from the tumble drier and they’re still warm.
31. Morning sex.
32. Starting a new job and meeting a colleague who you instantly warm to and click with.
33. Duvet days = comfy clothes, fuzzy socks, comfort food, box sets.
34. When an animal winks at you.
35. Catching up on your advent calendar when you’ve missed the last few days.
36. Being able to smell your perfume on the neck of your dress.
37. Reading your Horoscope and feeling positive for the week ahead.
38. When you've had a cold for weeks and you can finally breathe through your nose.
39. Unexpected presents.
40. Meeting someone’s baby for the first time and the baby smiles at you.
41. That feeling of job satisfaction when you've successfully changed the bedding on a double bed. On your own.
42. Mentally ticking everything off your to-do list.
43. Eating a really tasty meal and being told it was low in calories.
44. Reading through the “what happened last night?” texts whilst hungover.
45. Thinking about someone all day and then receiving an unexpected text off them.
46. Giving up your seat on the bus for an old person or a pregnant lady.
47. Realising that your siblings are your friends for life. They will always have your back.
48. Managing to remove your skinny jeans sexily.
49. Receiving flowers.
50. Someone saying “That’s my girl” about you.
51. Reading a really good blog. (Ahem.)
52. Someone uploading a photo of the two of you which you didn’t know existed.
53. Hanging your washing on the line outside and it smelling of sunshine when you bring it in.
54. Barbecues, water fights, sunbathing, holidays, SUMMER.
55. Doing a good deed, for no other reason except you wanted to do it. Giving a homeless person spare change, picking a dropped item off the floor and returning it to the person who dropped it, sending an email to a company about the good customer service you received. Whatever it is, do it.
56. Someone playing with your hair.
57. Crumpets. Enough said.
58. Freshly washed bedding. In fact, freshly washed bedding teamed with clean pyjamas and you’re onto a winner.
59. Learning something new.
60. Breakfast in bed. Especially when someone else has made it.
61. Waking up after a night of heavy drinking with absolutely no hangover.
62. Liking your friend's selfie when you know it's taken her a lot of courage to post it. Go 'ed, girl, you look fucking incredible.
63. Having sex with someone you’ve liked for ages. Really. Good. Sex.
64. Pulling on your sweats after a day of wearing skinny jeans.
65. Stroking your cat and making him purr.
66. Hot chocolate, snowball fights, late night shopping, wrapping presents, writing cards, CHRISTMAS.
67. Seeing children all excited on a school trip.
68. Being comfortable when silent with someone.
69. The first time you drive a car alone - and live to tell the tale!
70. Laughing until your stomach hurts.
71. Speaking to someone on public transport and genuinely enjoying their company.
72. Long walks in the summer.
73. Pancake Day.
74. Being able to quote your entire way through a film.
75. Listening to music on a long journey.
76. Waking up and realising you’ve had just the right amount of sleep.
77. Saying 'good morning' to people you see at the same time every day - the postman, the milkman, the lady walking her dog.
78. Dancing and laughing with your friends and not checking your phone for hours.
79. Visiting your grandparents and leaving almost two stone heavier.

And if that wasn't enough for you, here are some visual reasons to be cheerful: (I particularly like the before and after doggy pictures)

 

 

And if that didn't work, this surely will:

Keep smiling, kid. You're doing fine.