You win some, you lose some.

I know I said I probably wouldn't post anything for a long time, and that even if I did, I certainly wouldn't publish it because I was too scared... well, I did publish my last blog and it seems to have gone down a storm, so seeing as I have new and exciting news to share with the world, I thought I'd post again.

My every instinct is telling me to write this chronologically, but to be frank, I don't know where this story starts, so you may have to bare with me. I suppose it starts with me stumbling across something on Google during one of my many "let's search the internet for anything acting related in the North West". This is a regular occurance in my life, and it's a heart breaking moment when everything Google throws at me is written in that God-forsaken purple, informing me that I've already looked there. So annoying.

Anyway, about three months ago now, I read something online about the Write Now Festival, which is held once a year in Liverpool. It's sort of like the Manchester 24:7 festival, only slightly smaller - although perhaps only smaller because it's only ran for three years. The founder of the festival was someone I had worked for before. (I'm sure you'll probably read this more than once in my blog, but it really isn't what you know, it's who you know.) I had a poke around and read some reviews. Everything seemed tip top - but this was when I was working at Asda, so everything seemed tip top compared to that monstrosity.

However, there wasn't an audition process as such. They were holding a casting day for any interested performers or technicians on Sunday 12th February. Well, as this was December, it seemed as far off as 2045, as everything does before Christmas. After Christmas, however, it seemed pretty close. I'd never been to a casting day before, so wasn't entirely sure what to expect.

I'd imagined a dance studio, possibly adorned with a ballet bar or two and more than enough mirrors to remind you how much Christmas weight you were carrying. I'd pictured a table of people - X Factor style - of whom I'd have to perform a monologue, a song, maybe a dance to while they marked me on a piece of paper. Do you remember the video for Geri Halliwell's "It's Raining Men"? Where she walks into an audition, starts dancing and falls in front of haughty, uninterested judges? Yeah. That's what I pictured. Cue me walking in with my Paperchase's finest unicorn and rainbow umbrella and my packed lunch in a Decathlon carrier bag...  I'd also imagined a lot of waiting around, as you find with most auditions; lots of sitting on uncomfortable floors, pretending to text from your mobile to pass the time whilst sitting amongst the biggest bunch of misfits you could hope to lay eyes on.

It was nothing like that.

I'd met up with two young budding actresses who I'd met my audition for Black Box wayyy back in September - Sophie and Becca - and we'd decided to go down to the casting day together. It was oddly nice, sharing the nerve-wracking experience with like-minded people as usually, auditions are a very lonely time and although you speak to a great deal of people, you rarely see a friendly face. We wandered down to the studio in Liverpool where the casting day was behind held. The second we walked through the doors, however, I think we all realised just how big the Write Now Festival was going to be. There were at least fifty people in this tiny little room, crowding round noticeboards, lining up to stand at tables, shouting over each other to be heard. The time we were in there, however, I reckon it probably went upto about seventy people, and we heard that when we left, there were so many people that they were having to wait outside.

After signing ourselves in, we wandered around the room, feeling very much like the little fish in the very big pond. There were professional actors there who we recognised from TV... how were we to stand a chance? We sidled over to a table of people who were writing a play called 'Saving Grace' and they were after three women in their mid to late twenties. Now, as I am nearly 22, I suppose I fit the bill pretty well, but anyone that knows me, knows I get ID'd for lottery tickets. Realistically, I'd say I look about 18, 19. That's with make up. Without, I'd honestly say I could very easily pass for 15. Which is great when you consider how many trains and buses I have to get, but terrible for everything else. Anyway, we had a chat with the playwright, the director and the producer, left our acting CV's and headshots and went off to 'work ourselves' a tad more.

We handed our CVs in to just three other tables - 'Alice', 'In the Beginning' and 'Catfish Therapy'. There were ten tables there, with ten plays looking to take on at least two people per play. But the majority of the parts being casted were for older actors, particularly for men in their late 50's. Jolly good for them, I suppose, but pretty crap for us! I honestly didn't think I stood a chance. We'd been at the casting day for a total of 45 minutes. With a heavy heart, I phoned my boyfriend to come and pick me up and I pushed it all to the very back of my mind.

To my utter shock, I got an email the following day, inviting me to an audition for 'Saving Grace'. I was gob smacked because I'd literally been checking my emails all day, and I'm not one of these modern technology people who has the internet on their phone. Every time I want to connect to the 'online world', I have to whack my laptop out. So, after an entire day of watching Gavin and Stacey and refreshing my Hotmail, I hadn't had anything. It was only when I finally caved and went in the bath that the email came. (The very best things happen to me when I'm in the bath. It's a great place for inspiration. Something about the hot water and the bubbles... really brings out the best in me.) The day after that, I logged on to discover another audition for 'Alice'. A few days later, I found I had an audition for 'In the Beginning'. Considering I genuinely thought I hadn't stood a chance in the festival, I was pretty pleased, although understandably nervous.

I won't go into huge detail and bore you to tears with what happened in each and every audition, but I will say that they all went as well as they could have gone and I was pleased with my 'performance' in all of them. (It's really difficult trying to decipher what you're going to wear to an audition. Do you dress up, so they see you at your best? Or do you wear your comfiest clothes incase you're rolling around the floor, pretending to be a cat? I went for a comfy middle for all three auditions.) After receiving a no for both 'Alice' and 'Saving Grace', I didn't dare to get my hopes up for 'In the Beginning'. In fact, I spoke to a friend of mine and actually told her I hadn't got the part - because I was so convinced that I hadn't.


 So, you can imagine my surprise when I got a lovely phone call off the playwright of 'In the Beginning' offering me the part of Eve! I was made up, although worrying slightly over my costume - surely me standing on stage wearing nothing but a fig leaf would not only nauseate the audience, but also cause my father to discombobulate?

So, here starts the gruelling rehearsal process. Please bare in mind we only get paid for performances - hence why I'll be dragging the majority of you to come and see the play. The more people come, the more I get paid! It's wonderful to have some proper acting stuff to get my teeth into again. It's been two months since I did anything and I was starting to crumble inside. Being unemployed can do that to you, as I'm sure some of you are aware. However, I start a new job at a call centre in 3 weeks time and I'm also having two or three driving lessons a week (stay off the roads), so I'm fully aware of how busy I'll be. But that's me. I love biting off more than I can chew...!